The Worst Date Ever

Recently my friend posted about her worst date ever... which of course, got me thinking about my worst date ever.  And yes, being at BYU you are bound to have a handful of awkward dates. But if fate smiles kindly upon you, you will never have to experience what I experienced on the worst date of my life. Oh, the guy wasn't terribly rude, or he didn't try any funny business... but instead this date turned out to be what I have deemed as my most embarrassing moment.

So... where to start? Let's see. I had met a guy at a dessert party and had given him my number.  A few days later, he calls me up asking if I want to head over to his place to make burgers. I agreed, because who could ever pass up a burger?

He picks me up and takes me to my place.  Now, in my head I guess I was imagining it just him and me, cooking in the kitchen and getting to know each other, since we had only had one brief conversation beforehand and I literally knew nothing about him.

Wrong.  I walk into his apartment, and suddenly it is him and 15 of his friends who all know each other, and little outsider me.  So right from the start it was a little awkward, but I made the best of it and started getting to know people.  Meanwhile, my date is in the kitchen cooking away and doesn't say a word to me.

Afterwards eating some bland burgers, Stan asks me, "Do you want to go hot tubbing?"
Me: "Um.... I didn't bring  a swim-suite."
Stan: "That's ok. We'll figure something out"
Me: "um...."
Stan: (Talking to his girl friends) - "Can one of you guys give Kara a swim suite?" (The girls hesitantly agree)
Me: "Uhhh.... thanks!"

So me and about 4 girls go into the back and one of the girls gives me her favorite swim suite. It must also be mentioned that these girls immediately stripped nude in front of me, and so I felt obligated to do the same.  So here I am, naked, in front of 4 girls who I know nothing about.  I'm feeling a little uncomfortable, but again, I just go with it. I also only had boots to wear to the hot tub, so a girl gave me a pair of over sized slippers to wear to the hot-tub, bless her little heart.

Also, did I mention that it was January? Well, it was, and it was freezing.  So as soon as we step foot outside the apartment, everyone takes off running in direction of the hot tub.  Then there is me, ungraceful little Kara, running behind them slowly in over-sized slippers.  All of the girls are ahead of me, and all of the guys are behind me.  I'm running and tripping over my feet, but slowly I get the hang of running in these shoes, and I start to speed off.

Really, I can't see anything, because there are no street lights and I am in an area that I am completely unfamiliar with.  The boys are right behind me, when all of the sudden....

BAM.

I failed to see the six inch step up on the sidewalk.

I completely and utterly face-plant on the sidewalk.  And I'm not talking about falling on your knees and hands... I am talking about running and then within a split second my face is on the pavement. My fall echoed throughout the abandoned street.

I shudder just thinking about it.

All of the girls turn around, and one of the girls yells "My swimsuit " (Geez, thanks.) All of the guys circle about me and say "What should we do" and "is she breathing?" I just continue to lay on the pavement, aware that just about every part of my body aches.

What do you do in this situation? At this point, I just wanted to jump up and say, "Well, see ya!" and take off running in the direction of my apartment a few miles away.  But, yet again, it probably would have resulted in a similar fall somewhere down the road.

Finally after about 30 seconds of laying on the ground, I just jump up and laugh it off and take off running again.  I look at my fingers, my elbows, my toes, my knees, all of which are bleeding.  But, it's dark, so I just keep running.  And, to hide the blood, as soon as I get to the hot-tub I jump right in.

Disgusting, I know, but I was embarrassed enough already without everyone seeing my wounds of shame.

So I bleed in the hot tub for a while, and my knees start to swell.  At one point my date runs his hand up my stubbly leg (hey, had I known I was hot-tubbing I would have shaved) but I swatted his hand away before he could feel my scabby swollen knee.  He probably thought I just wasn't into him (which I really wasn't) and he moved to the other side of the hot tub.

After about an hour, they decide to go back to the apartments.  So I slowly limp back (I don't wear the slippers because my toe is bleeding). The girls invite me to jump in the shower with them (they are all naked) but I politely declined.  While they were in the shower I quickly wrapped my toe in toilet paper and shoved my boots back on.

I ended up going back to Stan's apartment and watching "Easy A" (the only good part of the date.) By the end of the night I was sure that I had broken my toe, and my knees were double in size.

I never heard from him again.



Sigh.  That, dear readers, is my worst dating experience.  So.  Moral of the story? If you ask a girl on a date, don't invite all of your friends along, don't do unexpected things like hot-tubbing that require wardrobe changes, and most of all, if your date biffs it on the pavement, carry her back to the apartment, let her put on some band-aids, and just drive her home.  And then ask her out later, so she can one day heal her wounds of embarrassment.