Don't Be Selfish!

Sorry that I haven't posted about those sweet-potato crispers, but I promise, that will be soon to come.

Right now I am reading a talk by Thomas S. Monson about being an example to others... but in that talk I found a paragraph where he focuses specifically the role that a wife should play in a marriage. I thought it was a gem, and thought I would share it on here.

He says that "husband and wife should be adaptive to each other, and to work out mutual problems." Roll with the punches, talk about things, explain how you feel.  It may sound silly, but about once a week I ask Lucas if there is anything that I am doing that bothers him, or if there is anything that I am not doing that he would like me too. Sometimes he has things, but most times he doesn't.  Then he will give me the opportunity to do the same. And honestly, this short conversation that we have saves us from building up hurt feelings, and one day exploding, listing all of the things the other does that we don't like.

He also says husband and wife "need willingness to give and take in search for harmony".  More specifically, he says, "They need unselfishness of the highest sort, with thought for one's partner taking the place of desire for oneself."

Readers, the hardest thing that I have had to go through in my marriage hasn't been the typical things that you hear about, like getting to know the quirky things about my husband, or figuring out how to work together, or even adjusting to having someone go to the bathroom with the door open.  The hardest that I have had to adapt to is simply shifting my focus from myself to my husband.  Up until marriage, the focus of all of my efforts was on me.  My schooling, my work, my dating life, my friendships, my family, me, me, me.  But now I have someone that I have to care for even more than myself... and shifting to that focus has been HARD.  But it has been incredible. But it has been through shifting this focus that I have come to love Lucas more than I ever thought I could.

Just as a side note, Lucas is MUCH better at caring for me than I am for him.  He does the dishes, makes me food, brings me blankets, carries me to bed when I am feeling lazy, uses the towel farthest from the shower so I don't have to reach... he even warms up my side of the bed at night when I am washing my face. Caring for me is just so effortless for him.

Well, that's all I have folks.  Hope you enjoyed my little gem I found today.  If anyone is interested in reading the talk I am referencing, it is titled "An Example of the Believers" by President Monson, and you can find it on lds.org.

Love you!